Malum0ne Posted February 21 Posted February 21 I asked my wife if I could borrow some of her sleeping pills. She said, “Sure knock yourself out.” 🥁 I was going to wear my camouflage pants... but, I couldn’t find them. 🥁 I like camouflage jokes. You know why? You don’t see them coming! 🥁 I saw a sign the other day that said: “Don’t even -THINK- about parking here. So, I parked there without even thinking about it. 🥁 Do you know the difference between a Hoover and a Harley? The position of the Dirt-Bag. 🥁 I was driving through a construction zone and there was a sign that said: “Speed Limit 35 ahead” And there were 4 of us. So, we got through there in no time. Good thing I wasn’t driving a bus! 🥁 My doctor told me I was a kleptomaniac. So, I’ve been taking a lot of stuff for it. 🥁 I had an appointment next week with my psychic Guide. But, she called me and told me I wouldn't be able to make it. 🥁 Apparently, I have a pretty nice waist. The other night I was at a club talking to this woman When I was walking away she turned to her friends and said what a waste! 🥁 5
Efros Posted February 21 Posted February 21 One from my youth. What's the difference between a Porsche and a Hedgehog. All the pricks are on the outside with a hedgehog. 1 2
Snargfargle Posted February 21 Posted February 21 I'm glad the sign up ahead says slow children because the fast ones are harder to hit. 1 1
Admiral_Karasu Posted February 21 Posted February 21 31 minutes ago, Snargfargle said: I'm glad the sign up ahead says slow children because the fast ones are harder to hit. I can see a children's birthday party clown telling this joke. 2
Wolfswetpaws Posted February 22 Posted February 22 8 hours ago, Admiral_Karasu said: 8 hours ago, Snargfargle said: I'm glad the sign up ahead says slow children because the fast ones are harder to hit. I can see a children's birthday party clown telling this joke. Because David Carradine is unavailable? 🙂 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072856/ 2 1
Snargfargle Posted February 26 Posted February 26 Supervisor: Well, did you find anything amiss when you were at the job site? Ladies: Yes, we took a trip to the bathroom and discovered that we are so going to have "helmet hair" this evening. 1 1
Bryan Handy Posted February 27 Posted February 27 The other day my buddy asked why I divorced my wife. I told him, "One big reason was because she was way too loud in bed." He asked, "Was that such a problem that you needed to end things?" I said, "Yeah, I could hear her from 2 houses away." ----------------—--------- I'm in the middle of a long and messy divorce and I've decided that suicide is the only way out … Now all I need to do is talk her into it. ------------------------- Sounds like where my ex and I were 30 years ago. We both decided to bury the hatchet, but argued fiercely whether it should be in her chest or mine. -------- 1 2 1
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